18 Aug- בלי עין הרע - doctors think and I feel that things may be starting to loosen- meaning some of the twisted muscles could be settling, Pls G-d!!
They are recommending i continue staying off my feet until the end of the year
thank you so much for everything so far please keep this going
it would help me have a future
As many know, I had a spinal fusion surgery where a titanium plate and screws were put into my lower spine; the picture here is an actual xray. The disability board of Bituach Leumi (Israel's National Insurance) took a long time to provide any disability funds and then quickly terminated them .
I never received any of the rent subsidies, or other benefits aside from the fact that I should have been given at least a year to recover which they didnt allow for.
I was forced to start working before I was ready, and 3 months later my muscles started to twist. To this day they are all knotted and I go for painful treatments regularly. Every doctor I have seen has said plainly that if i don't take AT LEAST 6 months if not a year slowed down to pretty much a halt, I will just keep getting worse.
Last week I was finally seen by the Bituach leumi board for an appeal, with my lawyer, together with a folder full of letters from different doctors specialists and therapists all stating the same thing. as above. Devastatingly, Bituach Leumi turned down my claim.
The daily pain is excruciating to the point that I often cannot sleep for dayS in a row. When I do fall asleep I often get woken up because of muscle spasms from the slightest move or bend of the knee or almost any part of my legs. Most recently the arches of my feet have joined the party. They not only make walking extremely unpleasant but they also throb when i try to sleep.
I dont think I can push myself more, unless I break myself completely.
This isn't living. Pushing from day to day . Barely surviving. I need to heal so i can live. Interact with people. be a part of my community, do chesed, get married . Work.
(i do not intend to deprive ppl of ny food, so i am looking for another body to act in my stead with my guidance of course. recommendations very appreciated!!)
I am financially maxed out in both countries. I am incapable of working a steady job. There are days where the pain is incapacitating to the point that I'm unable to leave bed. Consequently, I've been forced to slow down and accept my limitations. The cost of which is actually financial. The weight of the financial stressors keep me from being able to let my muscles relax and causes more pain.
I need to pay my bills, which i am already behind on. I need to be able to pay rent, and I can't do it without help. Family and friends have been wonderful, but i cant ask more of them.
Whatever you can do, i would deeply appreciate.
Thank you so much.